


Some Things Go

by PersephoneParkinson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depression, F/F, Gen, HP: EWE, if you squint really hard - Freeform, implied ginny weasley/pansy parkinson - Freeform, mostly - Freeform, some food issues too but nothing major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:12:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8447236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PersephoneParkinson/pseuds/PersephoneParkinson
Summary: Back for 7th year Pansy Parkinson questions everything that she's ever been taught and starts a relationship that she never believed could exist. OS.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Wordsmiths and Betas Rare Pair Competition. It won Best Character Development and Best Drama. I even have a cool graphic to prove it. :)

If she was being honest, which isn't an everyday occurrence, Pansy knew that she was wasn't better than everyone else. Even broken down like an arithmancy question she still wasn't better. She was only prettier than a few other girls; eventually Millicent would grow into those curves whether she liked it or not and if Daphne wasn't a friend she would have hated her on sight purely on principle. Sure she was wealthy, but most of the Sacred 28 girls were wealthy.That's what made them Sacred 28. Pansy was smart, but she was no Hermione Granger. She was probably a little too shrewd to get married to a man that liked her for her. She was told that men liked docile and obedient women. Pliable, Pansy’s mother used once. Unfortunately those were all qualities that she struggled with. 

 

But blood, that was something she could rub in the face of any respectable person in all of magical Britain. She was pure, she was untouched by the mundane that the rest of the world was plagued with. Pure as magic itself.

That was what would get her a husband, that is what would secure her place in high magical society, that was the most important thing about Pansy Gwendolyn Parkinson. 

 

At least that was what she had always been taught.

 

By yule of 7th year something had changed. When she alone, after hearing screams of school children and discipline that crossed over into blatant torture, Pansy began to question, really question, how blood made her better. How did blood give them the right to snap wands, round up people like animals, or abuse children who hadn't done anything besides speak up? 

 

Everything that she had been spoon-fed since infancy no longer was her shining beacon to base her self worth on. What would she be if she wasn't a pureblood? If she didn't have blood was there anything about her that was of any value at all? Was there anything in her worth saving?

 

She’d seen the bruises on Longbottom's face, the way he limped for days after detention with the Carrows. Blood-traitor or not, even being a pure-blood did not save you. Nothing would save you here. 

 

Draco just wasn’t the same, he should have been walking around Hogwarts like he owned it. Everyone knew it was him that let the Death Eaters in. He should of been every bit the arrogant slytherin prince that she knew he could be, but he was wasn't. She caught him several times, looking at the mark on his arm with a defeated look on his face. Like it was a curse. Daphne was too busy worrying over her little sister, and Blaise looked like he was a boggart away from catching the next floo to Italy and never be seen again. Vincent and Greg were enjoying themselves way too much torturing children. They were spared, the daughters and sons of Death Eaters and sympathizers, but they were not saved.

 

So now she spent her days with her mouth shut. The clever and cruel insults she’d thrown at the people she previously deemed lesser than her suddenly seemed petty and meaningless. Pansy thought she was close with her friends. But not one of them noticed when she stopped being a bitch and started being scared. When the nightmares kept her from sleeping. When her appetite when from witch weekly-thin to downright sick. None of her friends noticed, but Tracey did. 

 

“Alright there, Parkinson?” She heard a voice call as she sat curled up in one of dungeons large ornate arm chairs. The Slytherin common room was empty besides them. 

 

Pansy didn't turn her face. “I'm just fine, Davis. Move along.”

 

“I didn't see you at dinner.” 

 

“I haven't been feeling well”

 

“All week?”

 

With an exasperated huff Pansy turned in the chair to face Tracey Davis.

 

“Are you getting at something?” She eyed the girl warily. They didn't get along all that well despite being a small group of girls sorted together. 

 

Tracey was a loner since her very first night at Hogwarts. She had no interest in their haughty blood purity sense of entitlement. And when the other girls found out she was raised as if she were a muggle, even though her mother was a ministry worker, they had practically crucified her. Pansy very much included. 

 

The girl reached into her bag, then tossed Pansy a napkin tied into a bag. 

 

“It's not anything much, just some fruit and bread from the kitchen.” 

 

“Is there any particular reason you're giving this to me?”

 

Tracey scoffed, hiking her bag higher up on her shoulder. “I thought the reason was quite clear. You need to eat it.”

 

“On whose authority?” she said through clenched teeth. Who did this girl think she was?

 

Tracey just shrugged, as though she was bored with the conversation and walked towards the girls dormitories. Before she disappeared into the hallway she turned her head sideways speak. “The nutrition potion you’ve been taking is only a supplement. You have to eat something for it to work fully.” 

 

Pansy opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out but a strangled sound. She should be on her way to the dorms to find out who the hell had told that half-blood bitch that she was taking potions or make Tracey suffer immensely trying. She should be livid at being found out that someone would think that she was weak. She should be all of those things, but her hands were always blue because she could never get warm, her concentration was shit, she could barely sleep, and she missed her friends. By any definition she was weak. 

 

So no, she didn't go press her wand into Tracey’s throat. Instead she curled back up in the chair, untied the napkin that sat in her lap and took a bite of bread.

 

Later when she finally made it to bed, She could see that Tracey was still up. Her bed curtains slightly ajar reading by wandlight. Pansy turned her face away from the girl in an attempt to ignore her and got into her own bed until an uneasy feeling settled in her stomach that made her panicky, and she realized with disgust that it was gratitude of all things. Before closing her curtains, she turned her head to the side.

 

“That bread you gave me was nearly stale. Maybe next time you can get something that doesn't cut my throat open going into my stomach.” She laid back in her bed, hoping desperately that the girl didn't have a silencing charm up because if she had to repeat herse-

 

“You’re welcome, Pansy.” She finally heard Tracey call out. Pansy was unsure of why her mouth involuntarily curled into a small smile, but as she nestled down into her covers she couldn't help to think that this was the best she'd felt in a long time. 

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

 

The next night Pansy sat in the same chair from the night before. She had told herself that she wasn’t waiting for Tracey to show up, but even she knew that was a lie. Just after midnight Tracey came into the common room, placing another package on Pansy’s lap and sitting in the chair beside her. 

 

Without a word, she opened the package carefully, her nose wrinkling in disgust when she found a piece of chocolate cake. 

 

“Are you trying to make me a cow?” She asked, but Tracey just laughed beside her as she shook her head in disagreement.

 

“Trust me, you have a very long way to go before you need to worry about being a cow.”

 

Tracey came again the next night, and again, and again until Pansy could tell when she was coming every night like clockwork. She didn’t ask why she was out so late on weekends, but then again, she never asked how Tracey knew about supplement potions to even begin this weird tradition. 

Eventually her appetite had returned. She could feel Tracey's eyes on her during meal times every now and then as she scribbled in her notebooks. But still every night they met, and every night Pansy would eat whatever she was brought and make snide comments about the quality of the food. Tracey would always smile when she was done eating, as if that was some type of major accomplishment. Pansy hated it, and she also hated the way Tracey smiling somehow made her smile. 

 

As much as Pansy knew Tracey watched her, she looked for the other girl just as much. She wasn't sure when she starting look at Tracey, but Pansy knew she couldn't stop.  
She had memorized they way her long wavy brown has always escaping her ponytail, and the way she rested her quill on her bottom lip when she was thinking. Tracey was beginning to occupy all of her thoughts. When she wasn't thinking about Tracey, Pansy was waiting for her show up so they could spend their few minutes alone together. 

 

Pansy knew about obsessions and how they never helped anyone. So instead of meeting Tracey one night, she went to bed hoping that Tracey would get the hint and leave her alone, for both of their sakes. 

 

“Pansy?” Tracey whispered outside of her bed. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine. I just was feeling ill.”Her bed curtain was pulled back slightly, showing Tracey's face illuminated by the light coming from window. 

 

“Okay then. I’ll set this right here.” Pansy’s heart had twisted when she heard the disappointment in Tracey's voice. 

 

“Wait!” She called out before she could stop herself. “I- uh- Can you sit down for a second?”

 

Tracey’s raised her eyebrows but said nothing and sat down folding her legs up on the bed. 

 

“Can I ask, how did you know? About me? That I was…” Pansy gestured her hands about her, unable to come up with the word that completely encompassed what was wrong with her. 

 

“You had this pale green discoloration, right here.” Tracey grabbed her hands, turning them over to be palms up. She ran her fingers over Pansy’s wrists . “It's a side effect from taking some potions together.”

 

“Potions? You mean you knew about the -”

 

“Dreamless Sleep? Yes, I knew about that too.”

 

Sighing, Pansy closed her eyes briefly, partly because she was tired of her secrets not being secrets, but mostly because Tracey was holding her hand. It felt every bit of good as Pansy had thought it would. 

 

“I haven't been taking it as often, you know. You do help. Being with you...” She said quietly, tightening her hold on the other girl's hands.

 

Old habits still die hard, and there was a teeny flame of anger inside Pansy for whoever had told Tracey. It would eat at her if she didn't at least know who. So, she asked. 

 

“No one had to tell me.”

She opened her eyes to continue questioning Tracey but stopped when she noticed that her eyes were closed as well. Her hands were still holding onto Pansy’s as she softly traced the lines in her palms. 

 

“When I was ten my father was killed in front of me. I had nightmares for weeks on end until my mother took me to Mungos. But, being as taking Dreamless Sleep for too long makes your appetite go down, I stopped eating. That's when they put me on the Nutrition Potion, and I ended up with pretty green skin just like you had.”

 

“I...I didn't know.”

 

Tracey opened her eyes with a small smile of all things on her face. “Of course you didn’t know. I didn’t want anyone to know, Pansy. All of you nearly roasted me on an open fire when you found out about my muggle father! What would you have done if anyone of you had found out I was nearly comatose for a year just because I missed my daddy?”

 

Pansy didn't know, but she abruptly found herself cursing her cruelness when she was younger. When Tracey finally left her bed she was wishing that she didn't have to leave. That was a mistake, she mentally chided herself noting that it wasn't to happen again. Expect, Tracey came back again the next night, and the night after that. What started off as sharing food with one another led to small parts of themselves being exposed to one another. 

 

“You do know it was me that charmed all of your muggle nail polish to turn brown, right?” Pansy asked the one night all the while mesmerized at the sight of Tracey sucking ice cream off a spoon.

 

Tracey nodded. “Oh I know. Which is why I should probably tell you that's the reason why all of your textbooks had that permanent ink that read ‘Future Mrs. Chosen One’ last year.”

 

“That was you?!” Pansy gasped. “The only person I told about that stupid crush during fourth year was Daphne! We argued for months about it.”

 

“It was a very entertaining few months for me,” she replied with mischievous shining eyes. 

 

“It’s just-, that was very-, I cannot believe that you-”

 

“It was very Slytherin of me, right?” Tracey asked.

 

“Exactly!”

 

Pansy sucked in her breath as Tracey leaned into her. Her heart began to thud, nearly wild against her ribcage. Yet, all Tracey did was take the pad of her thumb to wipe away a small bit of ice cream that had rested on Pansy’s bottom lip. 

 

“There are many things you can accomplish if everyone underestimates you.”

 

Pansy sucked in her bottom lip, her face tingling where she had been touched. 

 

“We leave for home tomorrow,” Pansy whispered as if neither of them were aware of the fact.

 

“Yes, we do.”

 

Pansy had the thought that she should say something. She used to have no problem giving people a piece of her mind, but she wasn't even sure what was on her mind. Surely it was just as lost as she felt. Before Pansy could put together anything coherent, Tracey swung her legs off the bed. 

 

“Goodnight Pans.”

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

 

Her anxiousness had reached an all time high by the time she got to the welcome feast. She hadn’t seen Tracey on the platform, on the train, or at dinner. Pansy sat on her bed when midnight passed as she tried to not let the tears that had collected in her eyes fall out. 

 

She was about to stop waiting and go to sleep when she heard a low groan coming from the other other side of the room. That couldn't be... could it?

 

She should of moved slowly, but her feet made loud slapping sounds as she walked quickly across the cold stone floor. Her hands paused before pulling back the curtain on her friend's bed. Maybe you're imagining things, she tried to reason with herself, but her gut was telling her otherwise. As she breathed out, she moved the curtain back slowly, the scene hitting her all at once.

 

“Oh Gods!” Tracey was in her bed laying face down. She had ugly blue and yellow bruises that dotted across her back and cuts across her shoulders that had obviously just been healed. 

 

As though she were the one in pain, Pansy whimpered, kneeling down, and brushed Tracey's fringe out of her face while her hand rested on Tracey’s cheek. 

 

At feeling her face being touched, Tracey stirred slightly, opening her eyes to see the other girl beside her. Her eyes occasionally blinked out tears, but still, no matter how much pain she was in, seeing Pansy put a smile on her face.

 

“Hey you. Don’t be to mad at me, okay? I’m sorry I didn't get to bring you anything tonight.”

 

“I don't care about the fucking food, Trace. What happened?!”

Tracey didn't think Pansy would care about the food, but she had to try. She moved herself to one side of the bed. “Get in and I'll tell you everything.”

 

Pansy did not stop to think or process the why or the should she. All she knew was that Tracey was in pain and need her. That was the only thing all that mattered. 

 

“What happened?” she asked again softly.

 

“The Carrows happened. I came back early. My mum was so busy with ministry stuff she barely spent an hour with me. I was bored, missed my dad, and I- I missed you. So I came back and made the mistake of talking back when one of them made a comment about my dad. I know I shouldn't have, Pans, but I was just so tired of it and-” Her voice broke off with sobs, and Pansy did the only thing she could do. She carefully wrapped her arms around the girl and let her settle against her chest.

 

“I know it was stupid, but I couldn't stop! And now, I'm paying for it.”

 

Holding Tracey like this, all of her resolve to keep calm, to keep herself impartial to this looming fight became unraveled. There was only one thing now that weaved through her; holding on so tightly that it burrowed in her skin, her thoughts, her soul. She would get them out of this nightmare, or die trying.

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

Their nightly meeting no longer held any pretext of feeding Pansy or coy shy glances across the bed while they shared secrets. Each night they held one another, mostly talking, but definitely with the addition of occasional soft grazing of hands across skin. The feeling of being close lulling them to sleep each night. 

 

“What do you want to do?” Pansy asked one night

 

“When I leave this place? I wanted to-. I’m going to be healer.”

 

Pansy, who was being held, turned in Tracey’s arms to see her face to face with her already tipped nose crinkling in distaste. “A healer?”

 

“Yes, a bloody healer. You pureblood aristocrats are a funny bunch. Not everyone's ambition is stepped in self-interest, Pans. Not everyone can take over the world.”

 

Pansy scoffed. “Of course not, but being selfish is a human trait, not just a Slytherin one. I just didn’t imagine you’d want to take over St. Mungo’s, that’s all.” Being this close to Tracey was an odd thing, she mused internally, the type of odd thing you didn’t think you’d mind doing for the rest of your life. 

 

“The magical world is so much bigger than Britain, Pans. The world itself is bigger than magic. I want to see every major city in the United States. Maybe go to Mexico to visit ruins. I heard there are white beaches in Greece, and mountains in Poland, and beautiful festivals each year in India.”

 

She had then thought Tracey was talking right mad but-, but she looked so amazing when her face lit up as she spoke in hushed tones about the world. Pansy believed every word of it, and her heart felt full thinking that she would be the one to experience all of those moments with her. 

 

“And what about after?”

 

“After?”

 

“Yes, after you see the world.”

 

“After I’ll settle down. Maybe in Italy- that's where my Dad was from. Somewhere close to the water, but not too close. Maybe have a tiny vineyard that I’ll look after during my days off from being a healer. “

 

“It sounds like a nice life.” Despite their cuddling each night there was still a barrier that they had never crossed. It was like Pansy could feel a small part of herself changing each time they lay together, while another part of her begged to get up, to leave the bed before it was too late, and she changed forever. As loud as that part of her was, it never won. She never left and now was somehow desperate for more.

 

“But- Is there not one thing you selfishly desire?” She asked trying to ignore how breathy she sounded.

 

“There is one thing that I very selfishly desire. More than I should.” Tracey’s voice was warm and low and made her heart putter unnecessarily. When she felt her fingers ghost across her collarbone and up the back of her neck to play with her hair, she had to bite her lip to make sure that any sounds didn't prematurely escape her mouth. 

 

“You're very confident in being a healer,” she noted. “Why not this?”

 

Tracey let out a humorless low laugh. “I am very sure in my want. I’m just very unsure if I should take the risk.” 

 

There was no part of Pansy that thought she was brave, strong, or courageous. But, she couldn't have denied the small roar in her chest as she moved in closer to Tracey on the bed. Their bodies pressed against each other as she let her hand curl around Tracey's exposed hip. 

 

“Some risks are worth taking,” she whispered as she finally lowered her mouth and claimed the other girl's lips.

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

The Easter holidays had approached a lot quicker than either of the girls anticipated, sending Pansy back to her mother and a promise made from Tracey that she would stay home the entire time no matter how much she missed her. 

 

She almost felt normal bickering with her mother about decorations for her annual garden get together for Easter. Not having to spend her days with her mouth shut tightly, mentally chanting “I'm better than them, better, better, better”, had done wonders for her mental well being. Then again, she wasn't entirely sure it was being back in her childhood home that had put her in such a better mood

 

Pansy wandered around her home, she could hear the small pop of apparation’s of the house elves throughout the manor as they moved tables to the garden on her mother's request. She found Dahlia Parkinson in the dining room for her afternoon meal.

 

“Pansy? You slept through the whole morning, again? I know you love to be lazy, but you are going to have a horrid time putting yourself back on a schedule when you get back to school.” 

 

Pansy hmm-ed without commitment while taking a seat down from her mother. Maybe if she could just mention to her mother that she didn't want to return back to school. Maybe she could grab Tracey from her home and they’d never have to set foot back in that castle again.

 

“And I know you were all set on wearing that pale yellow shift dress, but we are not Hufflepuffs, dear. I had Zabney make sure the mint green dress robes were properly pressed and put in your closet. With all that’s going on, now is not the time to deviate from our important values.”

 

Pansy nodded. “Of course, Mother,” she nearly whispered, taking a few pieces of fruit. 

 

“And I know you said that you no longer had eyes on the Malfoy boy-” 

 

“Mother, I-” Pansy attempted to interrupt but it was unnoticed. 

 

“ -Although, what you could have possibly done to have a falling out with him is beyond me, Pansy. I made certain that you’ve been friends since you were in nappies. Thankfully, there are a few eligible young wizards left. You aren't completely without reprieve at least.”

 

“Yes, Mother. However-”

 

“Many of their mothers will be attending. Nothing but the very best etiquette. If the mother doesn't like you, well then-”

 

“Mother!”

 

Startled, Dahlia finally looked up from her lunch and focused on her daughter for the first time since entering the room. “Why are you raising your voice like that, Pansy? Completely unbecoming. Have you forgotten everything I’ve ever taught you? Ladies are -”

 

“Seen, not heard.” Pasny finished for her mother. “I haven't forgotten anything. I-, uh, I don’t think I want to go back.”

 

Dahlia blinked, unsure of what her only daughter meant. “Go back where?”

 

“Back to Hogwarts. Mother, things are- “

 

“Better.” Her mother cut her off, eyes changing into the horrible analyzing glare that Pansy knew all too well. “Things are overwhelming better at Hogwarts now that Headmaster Snape is in charge. Don’t you agree?”

 

“Yes, Mother. But-”

 

“But what, Pansy?!”

But I’m not sleeping anymore; But children are being hurt; But everything I’ve ever been taught is suddenly very wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But I’m worried that the only person that has ever loved me for who I am and not what I am is going to end up a second class citizen because she had a muggle for a father. But, but, but.

 

“Would it better if we had another muggle-loving fool in charge of our children's future like Dumbledore?”

 

“Of course not, Mother.” 

 

“Oh, Salazar Pansy, if your father could just hear you speak. Forsaking everything he worked on, what he died for! I don’t believe I have ever been more disappoint-”

 

“Mother, Please! I’m just bored, that's all. I swear.” Pansy said, determined. She should have known better than to bring this up to her mother. 

 

“You're….bored?” Her mother said, clearly confused.

 

“Of course I am.” Pansy smiled brightly and giggled falsely into her napkin. “We only have a few months left. We’ve been doing nothing but review for our NEWTs. Me and the girls try to keep busy of course, but there are only so many times you can plan the perfect wedding. I guess I was a little anxious to be done with formal education.”

 

“Oh. Yes, of course you are.” Her mother’s face had visibly relaxed, the hand that had clenched itself around a fork had loosened. Pansy noticed her hands were trembling.

 

“Zabney!” Her mother called, a second passed before their house elf appeared with a small pop.  
“Place a calming draught in my room. I’m suddenly not feeling well.” And she got out of her chair and left the room without another word to her daughter.

 

Without her lover's soft skin or warm words to keep her distracted, Pansy’s nightmares returned that night. 

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

May 2, 1998

 

If anyone had noticed the difference in the way the two girls interacted, they didn’t bother mentioning it. They began sitting together during meals and all of their classes. Pansy also would consistently stay up in one of their beds until Tracey arrived back to the dorms each evening. She once asked what Tracey was up to that caused her to always so get in so late, only to be kissed so hard that she forgot the question entirely.

 

Pansy sat in Potion’s class planning the best course of action for after school. She would have approximately a month, maybe two, before her mother started playing the dreaded matchmaker. They needed to get their apparation licenses. Technically she was already head of house when she turned 17, but she didn't get unrestricted access to the Gringotts account until she was married. Maybe that would change, but it would take her mother changing the bylaws of the account. She could get enough gold for possibly 6 months if she withdrew her maximum allowance , possibly-

 

“Excuse me, students. It seems that we are to be gathered in the Great Hall at this moment.” Slughorn's voice carried throughout the small classroom. Pansy glanced at Tracey to see if maybe she knew what was going on, but Tracey was too busy looking at some sort of golden coin resting her hand. 

 

In the Great Hall, Headmaster Snape began to question the students on their knowledge of the whereabouts of Harry Potter, telling all of them that they would not be punished if they knew where he was hiding. The hall began to break out into low excited murmurs. 

 

Harry Potter? Pansy questioned. He hasn’t even been to school all year. Just then out of the corner of her eye she saw him. She opened her mouth to scream but a sharp yank on her arm from Tracey told her that was a bad idea as she shook her head vigorously. 

 

What the hell is going on?!

 

“There! He's right there! Someone grab him!” She heard Daphne screamed while holding on to her sister. Her cries set into motion a series of events that happened in quick succession. Headmaster Snape stalked towards the Gryffindors with his wand raised only to be stopped by Professor McGonagall. Their duel pushed the entire present student body against the wall until he disappeared with a loud crack.

 

Eventually the Slytherins were escorted down to the dungeons by McGonagall herself. 

 

“I know that many of you think you don't have a choice in this battle, but you do. Standing passive against this aggressive oppression means you might as well be committing it yourselves.” The woman had said, and with that she turned down the corridor to get back to where the fight was going to begin. 

 

Everyone had gathered in the common room mostly sitting down for what must of been an hour. Pansy wondered if Professor McGonagall really expected them to fight and quite possibly against their fathers, uncles, and cousins? Fight against everything they were ever taught was right, no matter how wrong it sounded? 

 

Maybe she did expect them to fight, but Pansy already knew that not a single one of them would. She went back to her room and started throwing her most important things in a bag. She had wanted to wait until after school to disappear, but this? This changed everything. They had to leave now before the Dark Lord took over Hogwarts. A bunch of school children could not possibly be a match for him and his Death Eaters. Not with the stories she had been told and heard. 

 

Pansy began to run through the her plan again. Get to Hogsmeade, and then maybe the Knight Bus-?

 

“Did you mean it?”

 

She took a sharp break from throwing things into her bag. “Grab your things, Tracey. We’re leaving right now,” she stated turning back to her task. Maybe Gringotts would look past her taking out more than her allowance. She still had to convert the money to muggle currency which would be a pain in the arse but- 

 

“Did you mean it?” Her girlfriend pushed again.

 

“The plan is a little mad, but I think we can do this. You know a lot about muggles, and you know I’m a quick study.”

 

“You said, the first the time we kissed, that some risks were worth taking. Did. You. Mean. It?”

 

Pansy finally stopped flitting around the room to stare at Tracey who was still holding on to the same golden coin from earlier.

 

“Of course I meant it.”

 

“Then I’m going to ask you to take a risk and come fight.”

 

“What?” Pansy reared back like she had just been slapped. “Are you fucking serious?!”

 

Tracey nodded somberly. “I know this is a lot to ask of you, but Pans you said some risks-”

 

“Yes, Tracey! I did say some risks. The risk of my reputation. The risk of being blasted off my family tree. The risk of never seeing my mother or cousins again. Gods, the risk of leaving everything I've ever known to live happily with you. To runaway with you!” Pansy could sense her heart starting to crush. The telling sting behind her eyes was an all too familiar indicator that she had started to cry. 

 

“What you're asking of me for isn't a risk. It's suicide. Please don't do this. Think of yourself. Tracey, think of us.”

 

“I am thinking of us. Do you really think we’ll be able to outrun your mother, death eaters, or the Dark Lord himself?!”

 

Pansy couldn’t stop the hysterics from happening this time. Chest heavy with pressure, she was sure that eventually she would collapse in on herself. 

 

“I love you, Tracey.” She begged one last time. “Please.” Pansy felt her hair brushed back and a soft tender kiss placed on the side of her face. 

 

“I know you do, Pansy. Which makes this absolutely difficult,” and with that, Tracey disappeared out of their room.

 

Pansy was unsure of how long she sat on her bed crying. It could've been hours or minutes, but eventually her mind caught up with what her heart already knew. Tracey was out there; she needed her and to Pansy that was all that mattered. 

 

Her feet carried her faster than she ever thought was possible, and in no time she was near the Great Hall. As she turned the corner, she regarded Neville, Ginny, Luna, and Tracey battle two Death Eaters, whose backs were to Pansy. She felt as if she could do nothing in this bolloxed situation but the long black robes made things so much worse. They brought forth a torrent of images from her childhood she'd long ago trained her mind to forget. The one the closest to Pansy raised their wand in Tracey’s direction, and her heart began to race.

 

“Stupefy!” she screamed at the person’s back, only mildly horrified as they fell to the ground. The other Death Eater turned towards her. Their face was covered by an iconic silver mask, but the anger that radiated of off them as they advanced towards her was clear. 

 

“You little bitch!” the gruff voice spat out with his wand raised only to be hit in the back multiple times and crumpled to the floor. Pansy was shaking as the Death Eater fell and looked up right into Tracey’s eyes.

 

“You came.”

 

“I did.” Tracey walked forward as she took Pansy into her arms and kissed her deeply.

 

Someone cleared their throat behind them abruptly ending their tender moment. 

 

“I told you she’d come, Nev!” Tracey said beaming.

 

“That's great, but right now isn't exactly the time...” 

 

“Right. Let's go save the world or whatever it is that you all do,” Pansy said grabbing Tracey's hand and turned toward the others. 

 

Suddenly there was rustling behind them, and then a scream of “Avada Kedavra!” All four of them turned as the curse sailed straight towards Pansy. She felt several things in the time frame of what could have only been seconds. The feel of Tracey's hand slipping out of hers, the rough shove that push her on her arse, and the undeniable sensation of her heart breaking as she watched in horror as the dreaded killing curse hit Tracey square in the chest. 

 

“No!”

 

“Diffendo!”

 

“Incacarous!”

 

“Flipendo Tria!”

 

As Tracey fell stiff to the floor all three curses hit the Death Eater simultaneously. Chest slashed open, bound, he flew harshly through the air until his head hit the ceiling and crashed back down. The others turned back towards a convulsing Pansy who was kneeling over Tracey's dead body. Ginny could barely make out the garbled words that were being obscured by her pained cries.

 

“You guys go. I’ll get her and Tracey to the Great Hall.” Neville and Luna looked unsure but nodded ran down the hall. 

 

She kneeled down next to Pansy. “We should get her with the others. It isn't safe out here yet. More could be coming.” 

 

Pansy shook her head. “It doesn't matter. Let them come. Maybe they'll kill me too!” She howled.

 

“You don't mean that.”

 

“Yes I do, Weasley! I mean it more than anything. She shouldn't be dead! She had plans, dreams. She wanted to help, for Merlin’s sake. And, I'll… I’ll still be the same coward that I was before I loved her.” 

 

By the time the Battle was over, Ginny scanned the Great Hall for Pansy but she had disappeared. Molly saw that her daughter was looking around and asked her what could possibly be wrong other than her brother being dead, her boyfriend coming back to life, and the castle being in ruins.

 

“Nothing's wrong, Mum. I'm just ready to go home,” she said. Ginny had already set in her mind that she had an important letter to send. 

 

 

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

19 Months Later

 

Ginny didn't want to go to the Louvre, honestly, but her muggle-born teammate Anna said it was just one of those things that you had to do before you died. She didn't understand really how standing around a bunch of muggles looking at old muggle paintings counted as one of those things, but she wasn't going to argue with the girl especially since the since the team building exercise could have been matching tattoos. So here she was at 7am on a bloody Monday looking at pictures that didn't even move.

 

“We’ll see the Mona Lisa last since everyone wants to see her. The crowds are always outrageous, and there are tons of other exhibits equally as exciting,” Anna said as she lead the group up towards a flight of stairs. Ginny was dragging her feet towards the back of the group. Before they went up the steps, out of the corner of her eye, she had seen a girl turn down another hallway. Ginny only caught the side of her face but the random girl looked so much like -.

 

Before she could stop herself, she’d broken off from the group and began to follow the girl down the hallway, making a mental note about how creepy she was being and wondered if she could still use her breakup with Harry six months ago as a claim for temporary insanity when she got arrested for stalking. 

 

The girl walked with no clear purpose, as she glided passed artifacts and pots, when she came across a painting she did a double take, and then stood in front of the painting with her head tilted, long black hair covering her face. Ginny watched as the girl the lifted a muggle camera and clicked. 

 

Oh, Gin thought, that can't be her. She wouldnt possibly have a -. The girl lowered her camera, and Ginny gasped and couldn't stop herself before saying “Pansy?!”

 

The girl turned and yes, it was Pansy Parkinson.The same face that she hadn't seen in over twelve months. 

 

“Ginevra.” She said with a smile on her face. 

 

“It’s just Ginny, actually. Although I appreciate the restraint on not calling me ‘Weasley’”

 

Pansy laughed. An honest to Merlin laugh and Ginny felt struck dumb.

 

“You’re welcome. I heard you made the Holyhead Harpies. Congratulations.”

 

“Thank you. It’s been wonderful.” She should've let this moment go; to wish Pansy well and go their separate ways, but she couldn't.

 

“Pansy, where have you been? You stopped answering my letters.Your mother said you weren't in. I've been so worried.”

 

Ginny could see that she was uncomfortable as she played with her camera straps. “I've been traveling. I'm sorry I just left so abruptly, but I just couldn't take it anymore. That house or my mother.” She said with a small shrug. “So I just left. I haven't been home since February.”

 

February sounded about correct. That was the around the same time that she stopped responding to Ginny’s owls. 

 

“Where have you been?” Ginny asked, but she could see that it wasn't around Europe's pale winter. Pansy was tan and filled out her muggle clothes quite nicely. 

 

“Everywhere! I went to Poland, then to the United States. It was weird. Everyone spoke English but almost everything had new names. Completely useless.”

 

Ginny smiled through Pansy's stories. An orphanage in the Dominican Republic, magic festivals in Thailand, building homes in Taiwan. She still couldn't believe this was the same girl she’d seen last that refused to leave her bed. The same one that begged for death than be without the person she loved. Even more disbelief that it was same girl that did nothing but be cruel towards her and her friends years prior.

 

“Do you want to get dinner later?”

 

“I would love to...But I'm not done with...whatever it is that I'm doing. And I don't think it's a good idea until I'm done. I think I'll be done, soon. After that I'm going back to England.”

 

Ginny nodded. Everyone grieved and moved on and grew in different ways. “You'll owl me then? When you get back?”

 

“You'll be the first.” Pansy said, smiling. 

 

“I should go find the others then. I'm really glad you're okay.” She backed up from Pansy, ready to let her go, at least until she was ready to let someone back in. She just had had one more question.

 

“Can I ask where you're going next?”

 

“Just one more stop. Italy.”


End file.
